let's hug it out

I read this ridiculous story about a girl in Alabama who was suspended from school for hugging a friend. The school county's code of conduct cites that "inappropriate public displays of affection, included but not limited to embracing and kissing" are forbidden.

While this is absolute none-sense, I can't say I'm altogether surprised. The average American has an IQ of 72, and to be elected in any kind of influencial position there a person must have an IQ no higher than 70 (at least mild mental retardation). Ok, that's a lie (or is it?) but in a country where people sue for their coffee being too hot, I suppose it was going to come to this eventually. Remember the case where the 17 year old received consensual oral sex from a 15 year old and was charged with statuatory rape? It's absurd. It angers me. Let the frickin kids hug.

If you too want to experience an overwhelming sensation of gratitude for your Canadian citizenship, read this.

"fashion" flashback

So I've generally lost interest in blogging, but I couldn't help but share with my MANY readers this lovely link (courtesy of E. Watt who, like I, enjoys making fun of pretty much everyone). Check out this blog post about the 1977 JC Penney catalogue. Guaranteed hilarity.

you can buy fashion, but you can't buy style

I promise this will be my last (consecutive) post about fashion. I just wanted to end on a high note (Jennifer Connelly was certainly not a high note, although she is on the starter page of vogue.com this month - the irony is killy me). So, I thought I would link to the best street style blog/vogue feature I have ever come across - The Sartorialist.

Bonus: He's in Hong Kong right now - wooooo Asian!

seriously?!?

Apparently, I'm into fashion-blogging lately. This isn't really an intentional thing, but some outfits just need to be commented on.... Actually, this isn't one of them. Jennifer Connelly's outfit doesn't need a comment. I'll just sit here and wonder how anyone (albeit someone so gorgeous) can put on a floral 80s prom dress with catwoman stiching and think "yes - I am ROCKING this!".

This would, of course, be super hot on an Asian girl.....

asian envy

I am definitely not much of a fashionista - if anyone could see me as I'm writing this, in my Liz Clairborne cardigan, they would nod enthusiastically/in disgust. But even though I am not entirely fashion conscious, I would just like to give a big shout out to trendy little Asian girls everywhere - especially at Carleton, where they made me look bad every day for 4 (ok, 5) years. My sister (who might list "trendy Asian girls" as a primary interest of hers) and I brainstormed the other night about why this is. It could be how their flawless complexions offer the perfect pallet for a wide array of make-up colors, or maybe how their petite bodies can still look hot no matter how many layers of different patterns they pile on. Whatever it is, they are effortlessly cool in a way that white girls can never compete with, and maybe never even understand. I look at little Asian girls and I think "Wow, those clothes ridiculous. I wish I could look that cool." If I ever actually tried to look as cool as them, I'd probably end up looking like RuPaul, or Destiny's Child when they all wore matching sequined outfits.

So props to little Asian girls, for being cool in a way that white girls will never understand. (Case in point: how silly does tall and blonde Gwen Stefani look with her harajuku entourage?)

if I turn sideways I disappear

The Olsens are actually the bigger girls in this picture. Time to go back on the old "no food" diet MK, I can only see 3 of your ribs.

And props to Amy Winehouse for making anyone and everyone look comparatively plump and healthy.

love lasteth long as the money endureth

Fantastic article forwarded to me by my boss (we all work this hard).

Is this modern feminism? Sure, she comes off as a bit desperate, perhaps a little kooky (maybe all the botox that helped make her "spectacularly beautiful" seeped in a little too deep) but she's challenging societal norms but unapologetically going after what she wants. I don't think that modern feminism should necessitate that women compete with men professionally. That's not to say they shouldn't have the opportunity, but I think it is more important that women have the choice. I don't think a woman is disgracing modern women by choosing to stay at home, nor do I think she is undoing what previous feminist generations have accomplished.

And here is the hypocrisy of feminism. According to hardcore feminists (or at least the hairy-pitted beasts that I've come across), women are better than men. Therefore, we deserve equality with men. But, what? If we're better, don't we deserve better? Shouldn't we blaze our own trails, achieve and define success in a way that is not measurable only in comparison to men?

And (Emily this will really piss you off) we already DO have it better. Society accepts women in the workplace: Exceptions to this? I don't care. Try to find a male nurse who hasn't heard a sexist remark. AND society also accepts women opting to stay at home: Men? Not so much. Yes, there is an increasing number of men opting to take on daddy day care duties, but I guarantee they encounter more stigma than their female counterparts do (oh, and their wives are probably secretly lesbians).

I can't believe I got into a feminist/counter-feminist rant because of online golddigging. Frig, women do this every day (albeit more subtle and subconscious). Case in point: I love my boyfriend, and he's wonderful in every way, but there's time I think I love him just a little bit more because he's an engineer. Superficial? Maybe. Smart decision? Hells yes.

Oh, and the anonymous posted response to the ad (in the article - remember why I was blogging again?) is amazing.

do I even need to say anything?

Pictures really are worth 1000 words. But, if I WAS to say something, it would have to do with taking the futuristic trend way too far and the increasing likelihood that Posh really is a robot/femme-bot.

pretty people are better than us

Selita Ebanks and Nick Cannon have broken up, 5 months after getting engaged. I don't really care that they broke up - they didn't even have a catchy celebrity anagram like "Nickelita" or anything, and you can't be a celebrity couple without a proper anagram. Actually, my main concern lies with the fact that these two ever dated in the first place. What is with undeserving guys hooking/shacking up with ridiculously good looking women who are way out of their league?! Oh I know, innately, primitively, psychologically (et al) women are attracted to men in positions of power and status. While I can see this argument justifying Salma Hayek's choice, it does not apply to Nick Cannon (you likely don't know him from such classics as "Drumline" and "Garfield").


Ebanks must have finally realized she was slumming it. I'm not going to cry for her, because I know she'll do better (quickly, probably). And it's really hard to feel bad for someone that pretty. And I'm not going to cry for Cannon either - he should feel blessed he ever got to tap that (yeah, that's right, white girl said "tap that"). I hope he was smart enough to know it wasn't going to last and got it on tape - it'll make for a great career boost when we all completely forget who he is.

give the public what they want

Cosmopolitan magazine recently joined forces with Venuz Breeze to break a world record - more accurately, they were setting a new world record, because I doubt there have been that many attempts at biggest bikini photo shoot previously. Anyway, they've done it with 1000 + participants.

Frankly, I expected more of Cosmo, the magazine that brings me "Shirtless Guy of the Month", "Legendary Sex Tips" and "Multiple, Simultaneous Orgasms". Cause really, WTF do I want with 1000 + scantily clad women? I'm not going to print off the pictures and post them on my wall beside Justin Timberlake. And forget the female empowerment argument, that I should be supporting and applauding the masses of women for being unhibited enough to bare (almost) all in an international magazine - the front rows were occupied by models, so like every other issue of Cosmo, this is doing nothing to improve my body image.

So Cosmo, if you hear me (and I know you don't but I like to pretend), next time you feel like conducting a over-the-top photo shoot to claim a new world record, please make it "Most Brazilian and Dutch Men in Leopard-Print Banana Hammocks slathered in Baby Oil". You readers will thank you.

deja vu

I'm not sure if this is Nicole Richie now, pregnant, or an candid shot from The Simple Life season 1... She's hardly recognizable without the clavicle, hip bones and bug-eye shades.

this is my slutty face

Paris Hilton - minimal cleavage, no crotch shot, no slutty bleach-blonde hair (yes, I know i have slutty bleach-blonde hair, that's beside the point)... Is Paris turning over a new page? No, she still looks like a skank-ho, doing an open-mouthed pout while writhing in her seat like she's getting penetrated (possibly by her wayward right hand - that'd be so like Paris to have an easy access hole in her thousand dollar jeans).

By the way, I actually spent about 5 minutes yesterday feeling bad for Paris after she got torn up on Letterman. But I'm so over it.

American-ized puck bunny

Today I found out that even a beautiful, successful actress can be a sucker for jocks. In her blog, Alyssa Milano touches on her affinity for baseball players, the public/media interpretation of her dating choices and the double standard that exists between men and women when it comes to dating.

I was a little disappointed in her defense, however. Moreover, I was disappointed that she was trying to make a defense! Why should she have to justify her romantic choices? The truly feminist stance would be to boldly state that she likes the baseball boys and doesn't give two shits if anyone approves. She could be like a real-life Samantha Jones, sexual liberated and undaunted by public opinion. You don't see Pamela Anderson defending her decision to enter her third rush marriage (with Paris Hilton's sex tape co-star, no less)...

No, instead Milano has decided that she will no longer date baseball players. That's fine, I'm not advocating jocks as the best boyfriends, but I wish she had made the decision for a reason other than media scrutiny. Just as likely, the announcement is likely a publicity stunt, cause really, what was the last thing you saw Alyssa Milano in? Feminism still scores zero.

"some people claim there's a woman to blame..."

Ben Affleck is saying his romance with Jennifer Lopez was bad for his career because their relationship was such a tabloid spectacle. Obviously, "Gigli" was bad for his career, but he can't really blame that on J-Lo... "Jersey Girl" didn't help either, nor did "Daredevil" (so is that the fault of new wife Jennifer Garner, then?). Or MAYBE he was just never that good without Matt Damon anyway - dude sidekicked his way to an Oscar...

I confess, I'm a hypocrite - all my passwords used to be ben4ever and I had fansite dedicated to Ben Affleck. He was so sexy in Armageddon, my grade 8 hormones could hardly handle it.

Still, childhood-crush aside, don't blame others for your shortcomings. Especially when those others (ie. J-Lo) have their own problems. Exhibit A: She married a Mexican Frankenstein. Exhibit B: Her recent stage outfits. Exhibit C: Her own "career" problems/absence.

you saw this coming

Apparently babies are the theme of the day. And while it seems suitable to end with Britney punchline, I can't even really bring myself to joke about her state of affairs. Okay, I can, but not her adorable little mistakes! Ok, I did it again... Anyway, Britney has officially lost custody of her children. I can't say I'm disappointed or surprised - although I am both disappointed and surprised that Kevin Federline is left as the lesser of two evils.

A brief recap: She's been photographed nearly dropping her kids (on more than one occassion) and driving with them on her lap. She gives them coke in their bottles. She's repeatedly showed the world the hole by which they entered the world. She's been ordered to submit random drug tests to ensure their safety.... and so on and on it goes.

No one will disagree with the decision to take away her kids (hell, Britney might not even disagree -she has yet to prove her desire to keep her kids). It was a long time coming. It is essentially the culmination of what has got to be the saddest state of celebrity in my memory (and my memory includes Lindsay, Paris, et al.) I'm really baffled how someone can go from being the most sought after, most talked about, most desired celebrity to the most ridiculed. Or maybe, that's the only way she could have gone.

As I've stated previously, I'm very sad about the state of Britney Spears. I'm going to go home, listen to "Baby One More Time" and reflect on happier days.

more freaky children

While this video is pretty amazing, I squirmed uncomfortably for its entire duration.

I think it's awesome these babies have learned to "save themselves" - but what a sad state of affairs that someone deemed the best approach to preventing infant drownings is to educate the children on water safety rather than the parents!

celebrity baby angst

Mommy's a deisgner and style-icon, yet Kingston has to get toted around in a hobo-chic outfit more suited to the Olsen twins. The hairstyle will undoubtedly lead to gender confusion amongst his male peers, and the girls will taunt him for mixing patterns.

There is no good reason why any child should look like this, let alone Gwen Stefani's...

posh spice boobs

Hilary Duff exhibiting the most visible effect of the Beckham British Invasion.

prostitution as means to modern economy

Obviously, Eastern European countries have had their share of problems, even since most have joined the EU. Hungarian government officials (business savvy geniuses that they are) have decided to issue permits to prostitutes in hopes of generating revenue from the billion dollar industry. Their aim is to "make sex work as accepted as any other job" and "have as many participants as possible".

Just what every growing economy needs to achieve a higher quality of life for all citizens. Next, Cambodia will announce the taxation of their internationally-reknowned child sex trade. Give their tourist industry an edge, you know. Money is the way forward.

Yet somehow, it all seems ok when the Dutch do it. They're just so damn cool.

Read more about legal Hungarian whores here.

better dead than flat

Heidi Montag has spoken up about her boob and nose jobs (in case someone was still wondering what herbs they could take to naturally make their own boobs grow and nose shrink). Of course, it had nothing to do with her controlling demon-spawn boytoy Spencer. And if she had died on the operating table, it would've be worth it (?!).

Typically I feel that people should be able to freely pursue happiness. People alter their appearances (albeit less drastically) daily without judgment. But Heidi was a pretty girl before. If she was seeking self-improvement, she'd have done better to ditch the douchebag boyfriend and join a support group for talentless, juvenile attention-seekers. Her looks were (and are) the least of her problems.

Now obviously, had Lauren opted to plastic-ly enhance herself, I'd be all "you go girl!" cause she's just that much cooler than Heidi. But Lauren wouldn't, cause she's so prettttty.

I am so addicted to the Hills.

More (from mollygood) here (or everywhere else on the internet).

what the eff?!?

A 15-year-old Russian boy has survived a 2 hour, 1300km flight from Perm to Moscow... while clinging on to the wing of the plane! Yeah, for real.

He collapsed on the tarmac when the plane landed and suffered severe forstbite. It looks like his hands will be amputated - not because of the frostbite, but because that's what they do to rebellious runaway teens in Russia.

Read more here.

Kate Middleton: notable, for now

Kate Middleton (Prince William's girlfriend) will be included in the biography section of the Collins English Dictionary.

She probably felt pretty special when she heard this - until she read the small print.

"At the moment, Kate Middleton is the name on everybody's lips. If she splits up with Prince William again or doesn't marry him, we'll take her out of it." (You have to imagine that being said by an uppity British hag in an uppity tweed skirt-suit in an uppity British accent to get the full effect of how harsh that is).

I hope she didn't think she was special just for being herself.

good clean fun

Play Space Invaders (and try to beat my pitiful score of 75 840). My first non-belligerent post.

I miss the old Britney

I love a quality Hollywood party girl trainwreck just as much as everyone else, but after a few years of the "new" Britney (read: greasy, pudgy, sometimes bald and often underclothed) I'm finding myself longing for the "old" Britney (read: hot-pop marketing phenomenon). Now I can't even blame K-Fed for the dishevelled mess she's become.

I wish someone would help this girl get her shit together. Not for the kids - for me. I want to see her pretty, tight and 16 again.

parent of the year

Dina Lohan says Lindsay will stay in rehab.

No shit. And way to imply you have any influence on your daughter's life decisions. Did anyone even ask Dina? She's about as reliable as a Ford.

Read about it here, if you must.

Paris Hilton is the new Oprah

(Or not so much. )

Paris: "I have, like, a million clothes and more than 500 pairs of shoes, so I'm going to give a bunch of them to orphanges and children's hospitals. I never wear something twice."

Do you see where that bikini has been? And you want sick kids to wear it?!

I just knew she would stay true to her post-prison promise to give back. I KNEW IT.

Poor kids - the scabies Paris has left on those clothes will leave them worse off than they already are.

In other news, Paris is planning on going to Africa to bring attention to the "children's issues" there. (Suuure she is.)

isn't being pretty enough?

So everyone now knows that Tom Brady long ago left pregnant girlfriend Bridget Moynahan for supermodel Giselle (boys extend high-fives, girlfriends plan Brazilian-supermodel-avoidance techniques). Of course, this was at no fault of Tom's - temptation comes in no purer form and boys can't think with their heads. By this logic, Giselle is a slutbag. Newer developments claim that Giselle sent presents to Bridget in the form of baby cloths to "make peace"/rub-it-in. Upgraded to heartless slutbag.

Reports of a infant-sized "supermodel" onesie are undoubtled fabricated, but awesome.

Admittedly, I was not previously a big Bridget Moynahan fan (although I was vaguely aware of her existence). But I imagine that the entire Team Aniston crew may now jump onto her bandwagon, equally eager to curse and belittle superbitch Giselle just as we did homewrecker Angelina.

my lies are just as good as yours

I've decided to enter the exciting world of blogging - not because my opinions and thoughts are of any value to anyone but myself, but because I don't have enough to do at work. Plus, it gives me an outlet to unleash my quick-wit and rage on a non-existent audience (hence alleviating my boyfriend of his fake-interest duties).

We'll see how long this lasts.